No matter how tough things got, I always reminded myself that God was in all of this somewhere. He knew what the future held and he knew why he had chosen us. James and I got married 4 months after we became foster parents. We had two adorable ring bearers walk down the aisle and I was so proud of them. As James and I took our vows, we weren’t just becoming a family of 2, we were becoming a family of 4. We went on our honeymoon about 2 months later and found out in July 2015, we were expecting our first biological child. We were excited, but we knew this changed everything. We still had no idea if Garrett and Tyler would be with us when Lincoln was born, but if they were that meant we needed to trade in our cars (one of which only sat 4 and the other barely 5). I got nervous that if Lincoln got attached to his brothers, how would we ever explain to him where they had gone if they went back home. I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I’ve always been a planner and I found myself in a situation where it was impossible to plan. There was no way of knowing whether we would be a family of 5 or a family of 3. I remember being pregnant and James was reading a bedtime story to Garrett and Tyler. We were all in Garrett’s bedroom and I remember slowly looking around the room at my husband and my boys and tears came to my eyes. I was so in love with each of them and I wasn’t sure if I could ever handle letting them go. These were the kids I tucked in at night who gave me their sweet little hugs and kisses. I was the one whose lap they crawled into when they were scared. This was my family. I was in awe of their resilience and the God who brought us together. I knew we were a family created out of heartbreak and loss, but I also knew, somewhere deep inside, that God had it all figured out.

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